So-So© | An original piece by Briana Augustus
God, I'm so happy I'm sad.
I've reached and peaked so high, I feel low.
I'm tired of falling into the traps of "why" so instead I sit here. Please don't let me cry.
I felt it earlier and a few days before.
I chuckled myself silly until twinkling eyes grew sore and tears decided to be no more.
I'm so happy, God, I'm sad and oh, God, does it make me mad!
I refuse to ask why but my countenance refuses to lie. My spirit is light but my heart is heavy.
Open to joy but my brain plays coy. Toying with my emotions like a chemist with a promotion.
New life has been risen up but the old is fizzing up to the surface from a scarred-over incision.
Now I've got to make a decision, burn bridges to nowhere and let the ashes sizzle.
What is my mission.. I'm at point-blank range of clarity but
God, my concentration is shot, my focus is distraught -
My mind's a minefield, wired full of thoughts distilled and misfired wills.
My brain loves throwing around words for thrills - it's always easier to build than repair what's there still,
But let's be real. I'm so happy, I'm sad.
Can't - no, won't - say I'm depressed. Too much stress is brought on when considering an embrace of that mess.
Although I'm 'all good' at best - God, I'm so blessed.
I feel low still, yes. But God, I'm so happy, I'm sad, and yet still so very blessed.